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Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
4:56 am - Reaper

Eyes sear through my soul
A mass blackened by anger and confusion
Lingering on the tips of my tongue
Words unspoken and unheard of
A language all have heard
But the whispers remained foreign

Tears double-crossed my scars
Hands gripped tight around steel
Stability and promise
Promises shattered to pieces
When condemned

Shame in shades of gray
A conscience colored in black and white
Numb to the heart

Eyes sear through the soul
Pin pricks upon my empathy

Lacking retribution
My own exectution
And condemnation

But not guilty


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Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
3:06 pm - i said goodbye



moving forth
secretly hurting
deep inside
youve let me down
"have the ships been long gone?"

no looking back
just breathing ahead
have you let my hands go?
i cant feel your heart anymore

i am lost
this world is too big without you
ill drown
my heart will succumb
stay for a while
i cant say goodbye

facing ahead
tears against the wind
tomorrows too blinding
all things sinking
away from me
can you stay for a while
until i can say goodbye?


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Wednesday, February 21st, 2007
1:21 pm - the coming of age (february 20, 2007)



the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back

the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together

the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
trapped endlessly
wanting blissfully
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy


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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
8:59 pm - first post.


Barreling down into her distorted dissention
Eyes shut, mouth sewn and nostrils plugged
The screams get louder as she tumbles through.
Mangled and content, her eyes open to cast upon
His deformed figure and their writhing faces.
Bathing amongst their iniquitous souls
She inhales the shrieking sounds of nefarious wonder
And exhales.

Coal-shaded bodies enrapture her.
Trembling, weak… inquisiturient
A touch, this massacre consumes her mind.
Disfigured angels dancing with distorted devils
Faces painted with the sting of damned eyes
Motionless, she is inviolable and unlovable.
Hungry for this whimsical cessation
She moves.

Walking toward the corrupt nothingness
Of every thing she’s ever known
She ejects her defective and impotent heart
Surrendering to the resonance of the expired.
Hollow and frail; no longer pumping life
This fucking fantastic façade is no longer
Her existence.

current mood: cold

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Thursday, October 12th, 2006
10:13 pm - Lunar Cycle Crucifixion

Lunar Cycle Crucifixion

As lunar cycles peak,
I lay in my bed,
Cold as autumn breezes,
I lay.
Empty echoes of my own bad judgment
Keep me my only unwanted company.
My eyes can’t seem to close,
My heart can’t seem to sleep.
Never dozing, not a moment
Of unconscious mind.
On my back I lay with arms open wide,
My tattered conscience ---a crucifixion---
Makes me vulnerable like
My weakened body still rigid
From the tension from the feeling
Of all those tears never shed.
Am I quivering from rage?
From loneliness? From grief?
Or is it just the cold?
It’s all just the same, I’ve led myself
To believe
(This is why I feel so swallowed whole? ….).
Maybe I’ll soon find the answer;
Guilt always makes you see the light.

current mood: apathetic

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Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
1:20 pm - Bad Intentions

Like the spider of my life,
Spinning the most intricate web,
Eating at my happiness,
Like a lost bug amongst it's tidings,
Lust lies deep within,
Unimportant alongside my disgust,
Myself and my father,
That unwanted sexual attraction,
Pushed back by the way of my psyche,
Exploding a mode of madness,
Percieved by the kindness of most,
Pre-occupied with appearance,
I rarely feed my id,
Loathing my fatal intentions,
To an end of a long-lasting lover,
Confusion is the story of mine,
Yet to be unwrapped by my welcome,
I hide and I quiver behind the mask I bring forth,
And hope for a shy glimpse at redemtion.


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Friday, February 24th, 2006
10:17 pm - here again
shikyokan she'll be damned to walk alone, until the nightmares stop coming. she's afraid to sleep, afraid she wont wake up. confused to if her visions are real or fantasy. her eyes don't blink, her heart beats strong, but her mind is the one that taints her. a broken women, left to die in the dark. alone on her bedside, with not even a pillow to comfort her. this is her life, the one she leads everyday, with an aurora that could poison a wolf. her predators feel shameful, yet pity her in secret. they will never know what she feels, the pain is too much more then they care to know. Her death will be the sacrifice the people have waited for. not a moment goes by that she doesn't think of him, she's let go and has been forgiven, but her heart still feels as if it has not been redeemed. she will go on and live what some would call her own hell. but only in death will she know true peace. this is her life, a wallowing sprint, is goes by so fast, in the blink of an eye, so to speak. her routine gets to her more everyday. the same things she once loved, have turned into her worst enemy. she is ashamed, of the strings she has pulled, of the wings she has broken, that which she spent so long to earn. to let go of something so precious. her head spins, it wakes her, another day in a nightmare. this is my life!

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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
9:19 pm

duuuuuuuuuuuuudeCollapse )

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Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
9:04 pm - owl

hey i just joined. hope everyones alright. i wrote this a few hours ago.

i feel rather like a bird of prey who has lost the gift of flight.
i see myself as a vegetarian snowy owl.
snowy, not because i am pure, but because i am pale. my freckles resemble the markings of the bird.
there are no red-headed birds of prey.

i flap in circles. mud covers my wings. sometimes i am ensnared, my movement restricted further so i cannot even lift my wings away from my body. i lie still.

on occasion, my wings become clean and heal themselves. the twine or plastic or ribbon erodes in places, and i can stretch my wings. i fly when chemically persuaded. i fly, and you fly with me.

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Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
8:34 pm

New Poetry Community

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Sunday, September 18th, 2005
9:06 pm
shikyokan she's so lost, she runs from herself
afraid of what she will find
but aware of what she will become.

current mood: annoyed

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Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
10:01 pm
shikyokan little things are the most crazed,
stabbing into the night like a hawk on the prowl.
haunting souls that once were whole,
raining swells of darkness into the sun.
death is what we feel is the answer,
to many thoughts race through minds of the living dead.
to become one you must first fall apart,
holding on to the ground, dirt under your nails,
rocks scraping your hands, a rushing pain.
for as long as there is happiness,
there will be suffering.

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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
6:34 pm - "Disaster"


I'm new here and this is a poem I thought I'd share...



Traffic lights correspond with dull colors
And red won't turn to green

Despair plays on your radio
While the person beside you stays quiet
And nightmares roam the streets

Children no longer safe at home
For home is filled with terrors
Untouched by reality

Shutter and quake
This santuary's about to break

current mood: embarrassed

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Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
12:06 am - Reasoning

The ceiling creaked as the rope swung high
Her death had come as no surprise
With her empty smile and blood shot eyes
We should have known she’d kill to die

The marks still ran across her skin
Crescents where the nails dug in
Open wounds from blades of sin
Reminded me she’d never win

The air was flooded by her pain
A hopelessness I can’t explain
She broke inside and went insane
Her tears colliding with the rain

She lived a life in bars of steel
So hurt that she just couldn’t heal
Her anger was her only meal
Her life: a nourishment she would steal

A heart so blackened by this life
That she felt the need to always lie
That’s why it came to no surprise
That she would end with suicide

The bruises were just like the air
So transparent, they weren’t there
Inside, she felt like no one cared
She needed to escape somewhere

She had been raped, abused, and beat
She no longer ran a single street
Cuts and blisters on her feet
Death became her victory

Her mother said she was a whore
Her dad was gone a whole lot more
Her brothers’ words had made her sore
So she abandoned her life right at the door

So many words of so much rage
Locked her up inside a cage
A prison that was no longer safe
That she died a little everyday

Her face had bags that showed no sleep
She looked at me so desperately
I wish I would have heard her scream
I wish I could have set her free

In this room, no struggle shows
Proving she had wanted to go
If only, maybe, she had known
I would have loved her as my own

So where do I now point the blame?
We all could have stopped today
If only we had let her say
That she was in intensive pain

And really, now, who was I?
I was her final suicide


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Monday, July 18th, 2005
5:57 pm - autopsy

Somebody help me I think I'm going crazy
everything around me is suddenly going hazy
but maybe I am just not worth the saving
when I have this insistant kind of craving
Have you ever seen a dead man weep
crying even though he's fast asleep
the red tears of an innocent slumber
or does the sight send you asunder

to picture perfect the lovely pose
of a multilated yellow garden hose
little does the careful watcher know
it is a string tight human I show

to see how fragile our bodies are
how easy to tear, quick to marr
that under some morbid fascination
curiosity overcomes a moment hesitation

delightful in the autopsy reports
to see yet another creative corpse
how did he die today Jim?
do you think you know him?

does this make me evil to have no fear
to quickly watch where others may leer
possible that I am some horrid freak
to say that it is death I seek

Not my own but yours, someday
and on my wall proudly display
the last revelation of your time
to admire you, is that a crime?

It may churn your stomach to witness
the violent deaths in full undress
those which I take delight to see
I am not a freak, I'm only me.

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Saturday, July 9th, 2005
10:30 pm
jennyisawhorex1 promo

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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
6:41 pm

my first post here.

My body reflects
My emotional scars.
Hated wounds,
Or respected release?
I find myself unable,
Nay, unwilling to refuse
This morbid fascination
With self inflicted wounds.
Deep enough to bleed,
Yet shallow so as not to scar,
Livid red marks envelop my body.
I smile…liberated through pain.

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Thursday, June 16th, 2005
11:12 pm - poem

“Memoria”Collapse )

current mood: complacent

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Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
4:06 pm
thespotlesspoet a room dimly lit
candles on the edge
where they don't belong
pitting enemies together
my body
a single drop of water
slides into the pool with the others
musings flicker at the light
the light flickers back
crackling in the night
together are destroyed,
but infinitely close they harmonize
to glance light
off of the most abundant
symbol of simplicity
in random glow
beautiful as the moon's kiss
against january's snow

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4:03 pm
thespotlesspoet As much as you try to flush it
I wont go down
the toilet will overflow
until we finally drown
with shit on our hands
and piss in our lungs
as we gasp for air
we lash our tounges
but i'm being ignored
the mold in the fridge
was it ever there?
the more you ignore me
the more it grows hair
the neighbors gasp
at what you've done to them
but with my hands I clasp
and shut them up again
because the mold was never there
nor the porcelin chair
it was a ploy you constructed
to forget I was there.

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